Aesthetics (Again)

Last week I heard a talk in which someone was describing the need to photograph work "properly," and how it reflected on how "seriously" we took our practice. I was reminded of my foundation interview at UCA Epsom (which was my second choice due to the limited number of foundation courses near London), where the interviewer sighed a lot and berated me for the use of staples in my sketchbooks. I liked stapling in snippets and small experiments, and the way each spread was an experience, and there were layers of notes and pictures and drawings that I felt reflected the journey that the course was taking me through. The interviewer was complaining about presentation. To me a sketchbook was the physical object representing my thinking and experimentation; to her it was the method of presenting to teachers (but actually my teachers at the time were happy about the way I presented my thoughts) and interviewers such as herself.

I feel like while I can see where these people are coming from, from what we've been taught about the roles of contemporary art, I think that when an aesthetic decision has to be made that is not relevant to the ideas behind the work, there should be no "shoulds." (Some may argue that it is all relevant, but the idea that it's all relevant is subjective, and I think that pretending that I feel that all aspects are relevant when I don't would be pretentious.)

Naturally I don't necessarily disagree with the idea that in a lot of situations there are benefits to photographing work clearly - I feel that the person suggesting that was making a different point to the UCA Epsom interviewer. But it made me think - we have a right to choose what we do and don't take "seriously."

Aesthetics

I ran out of the turquoise thread I was using for a piece, and was initially thinking that I had to get more to continue. Now I'm thinking that I maybe have to question why I feel that's necessary. It felt like something that I "should" do, but actually I can't come up with a reason why I have to. So I think I won't, and I'll just continue with whatever thread is available.

I think that a reason to get more thread of the same colour would be that if I continued in a different colour, I'd have to justify "changing colour." But this doesn't make sense since going out and getting more thread of the same colour would be the action that requires the most effort. I'd be making a conscious decision to use the same colour throughout the piece. I can't justify that.

So the choices are:
- Continue with whatever thread is available, and have to justify (to other people) why I "changed colour," when actually it was the action that required less effort, and for that reason, the default action.
- Acquire matching thread. This would be making a special effort and a conscious decision that I can't justify to myself, but would not have to justify to anyone else, purely because they would not ask.

Essentially it looks like since the second option is NOT the default option, I'd only be taking it because it would look like I should.

Things To Do

- More of the above, less uniform, also change the tone

- More "I'm just trying to..." pieces, either whole or snippets/repetition

- "Unnecessary Labour" pieces, different media

Trying To

I figured that the slightly enlarged holes following the text were too subtle a way of suggesting that the words were being undone. I'd been considering the order of the pieces before, so I also tried an order that was entirely going backwards (most words to fewest). I may also consider a version where the fabric has space for the whole sentence including the parts that have been missed off.

Looking at the three photos together, I think more repetition could also work; I could make more of these.

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- Are the words being written forwards, being choked out bit by bit? ("I'm just trying. I'm just trying to drown.") Are they being undone bit by bit, each time changing the meaning of the sentence?

- I think it is mostly the latter.

- Which order works best to communicate each of these options?

- I like the first best - it leaves a hint of stammer-y hesitation in the beginning, but the rest is a sentence being taken apart to create new meanings.

- Would more repetition be good?

- It may be interesting to observe what it feels like to read a longer string of these altered sentences, alternating between each separate message.

- Does it matter how much space is left on the fabric? What does it mean?

- It makes a difference to how intentional it feels that the sentence is cut off. I'm going to experiment more with this idea, but using the "I ran out of" text.

I Ran Out Of

fabric.
time.
ideas.
space.
energy.
enthusiasm.

Display Experiments

These photos weren't intended to be pieces I'd exhibit together, but now that I'm looking at them I think if the bottom one were black and white it could work. 

To Do

- think about repetition
- think about presenting all the work together, since it's about the process rather than objects
- think about how to display it - walls may suggest finished products; tables may suggest an unfinished process
- since it's a process, maybe I should be in the exhibition, still making the work
- alternatively, I could just add to the work over the course of the exhibition so that it changes during the show
- think about the role of excess canvas
- think about the role of staining - embroidery represents working time; tea stains represent breaks
- experiment with various ways of displaying the work
- think about leaving the needle in, or leaving the work obviously unfinished, or outlined/planned without being complete - this emphasises that it's a process and not a set of objects